On My Doubts
Why doesn't God prevent evil, why doesn't God just show himself to us and end all of this...
So then these are just some of the questions that both Christian and non-Christian have. It is is probable that there may never be a completely satisfactory answer for both groups.
The answer, for me, has been that it is God's will. As cliched as it may sound, I nevertheless have found pyschological satisfaction with this answer.
I do, however have moments where my anger with God on this very subject becomes apparent. But, after a few minutes, hours or days, something becomes apparent to me- my doubts are more emotional. Emotional in the sense that I feel anger because God never does this, never does that. Whenever I try to carry this forward to the logical realm, "God wills it" seems to stop me.
I certainly don't see myself as a "bullet-proof" apologist (some do, though, but I nevertheless respect them). But I do believe that I can and will persevere to the end- with the grace of God alone. Recently, though, the fear that I may be wrong kept me from a total rejection of my faith. I shudder when I think back about it. I definitely would not like a repeat of that event.
But what I found propelled my doubts was troubles that I experienced. I didn't blame God for them. I blamed Him because he did nothing about them. But now, I realise that it is not my Lord's imperative to take away my burdens. I have learned now not to expect it as a certainty, but nevertheless I still believe he can do it- take away my troubles. I have learned to cast it upon Him. And pray and believe.
There is nothing wrong with doubts. But what we do with them is important. We can do something right or wrong.
And in all things, I keep something in mind. Again and again, as Job said, "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." For it is his will. Soli Deo Gloria.
So then these are just some of the questions that both Christian and non-Christian have. It is is probable that there may never be a completely satisfactory answer for both groups.
The answer, for me, has been that it is God's will. As cliched as it may sound, I nevertheless have found pyschological satisfaction with this answer.
I do, however have moments where my anger with God on this very subject becomes apparent. But, after a few minutes, hours or days, something becomes apparent to me- my doubts are more emotional. Emotional in the sense that I feel anger because God never does this, never does that. Whenever I try to carry this forward to the logical realm, "God wills it" seems to stop me.
I certainly don't see myself as a "bullet-proof" apologist (some do, though, but I nevertheless respect them). But I do believe that I can and will persevere to the end- with the grace of God alone. Recently, though, the fear that I may be wrong kept me from a total rejection of my faith. I shudder when I think back about it. I definitely would not like a repeat of that event.
But what I found propelled my doubts was troubles that I experienced. I didn't blame God for them. I blamed Him because he did nothing about them. But now, I realise that it is not my Lord's imperative to take away my burdens. I have learned now not to expect it as a certainty, but nevertheless I still believe he can do it- take away my troubles. I have learned to cast it upon Him. And pray and believe.
There is nothing wrong with doubts. But what we do with them is important. We can do something right or wrong.
And in all things, I keep something in mind. Again and again, as Job said, "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." For it is his will. Soli Deo Gloria.
This entry was posted
on Friday, November 25, 2005 at 2:41 PM.
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